Jasbina Ahluwalia is an Attorney turned Entrepreneur, Indian-American Relationship Expert, Matchmaker and
Radio Show Host. She is the Founder / President of Intersections Match, the only Elite Personalized Matchmaking &
Dating Coaching Firm in the country serving Selective Singles of South Asian descent Nationwide in the U.S. Jasbina is
also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show featuring conversations with published authors/
experts on relationships and health and wellness.
For more information, please visit www.IntersectionsMatch.com. Feel free to submit a Question to be considered for this
column to Jasbina directly at Jasbina@IntersectionsMatch.com.
I met a guy on one of the Indian
dating sites, and we’ve been
communicating both through the phone and
email for about five months now. Things are
great between us and we feel completely
compatible even though it’s been a
long-distance relationship. My parents
automatically distrust him because
they believe that he must be using me to get
a green card or U.S. citizenship. He has an
H-1 visa, lives in the United States, and
would like to settle here permanently. I’ve
had numerous arguments with them about
the subject. What do you think?
by Jasbina Ahluwalia
A couple of different issues jump out at
me from your question.
In my opinion it is very important for the
two of you to spend quality time together
in person. While doing so may involve a
great deal of investment in time, energy,
and money, it is important to ensure
that the two of you are compatible when
meeting face-to-face as well.
Five months of a long-distance relation-
ship without meeting in person even
once cannot be adequate to
With respect to the green card and citizen-
ship issue, do ask your parents the reasons
underlying their beliefs. Their concerns
may be legitimate. Are there any particular
red flags they have noticed? Try your
best to be open to hearing what they
have to say.
Since you are emotionally involved with
him, it is likely easier for you to ignore or
not notice red flags. That said, if the only
reason for your parents’ concern is that he
is not a permanent resident, in my opinion
it is not disrespectful for you to agree to
disagree with their opinion.
Best wishes to you during this challenging
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