by Jasbina Ahluwalia
I can appreciate the frustration you’re feeling. My
first suggestion is to have a heart-to-heart with the
woman you’re seeing. Start the conversation by ex-
pressing how much you really like her and why you
like her. If you’re exclusive with her, let her know
you chose to be exclusive because of the person she
is and are not interested in exploring a relationship
with any other woman. It is possible she is feeling
insecure, so spelling out how important she is to
you may go a long way towards alleviating any con-
cerns she may have (justified or not). You may also
wish to ask her if there is any particular behavior or
habit of yours that is causing her to feel this anxiety.
Even behaviors that seem innocuous to you might
be triggering concern based on a past relationship
she’s had. While you are certainly not responsible
for another person’s behavior, it can be difficult for
many of us to view each new relationship or person
in an unbiased way due to our previous experiences
(or even experiences of other people in our lives).
Let her know you highly value her trust and will not
betray it.
During this conversation, I would also express how
her behavior makes you feel. Let her know you like
her so much you do not want to let her behavior
get in the way of your relationship. Let her know
how important it is to you that the person you are
with trusts you.
If these suggestions don’t alleviate the situation, you
may want to encourage her to seek counseling to
work through what may be trust issues. If you really
like her, perhaps you can let her know you will
support her as she seeks counseling.
Best wishes!
I just started seeing a really
great girl, but she's constantly
second-guessing everything I do.
For instance, when I go out with
friends, she has to know where
I'm going, when I'm going to be
back and who's going to be
there. I get the feeling she
doesn't trust me. One time
she even showed up with
her friends. I really like her,
but I can't deal with this!
Jasbina Ahluwalia is an Attorney turned Entrepreneur, Indian-American Relationship Expert, Matchmaker and
Radio Show Host. She is the Founder / President of Intersections Match, the only Elite Personalized Matchmaking &
Dating Coaching Firm in the country serving Selective Singles of South Asian descent Nationwide in the U.S. Jasbina is
also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly holistic lifestyle show featuring conversations with published authors/
experts on relationships and health and wellness.
For more information, please visit Feel free to submit a Question to be considered for this
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