ANSWER
by Jasbina Ahluwalia
I'm sorry to hear this
and I appreciate your
thoughtful question.
Have you considered
working with a marriage
and family therapist
during this period of
separation? If you both are
willing to participate in
counseling, I would strongly
encourage you to do so.
You are certainly not alone. Marital counseling should
provide an environment where both you and your
husband have the opportunity to openly share your
thoughts and feelings with each other.
With the assistance of the trained therapist, perhaps you
both will be able to work through the issues you are
experiencing. Many marriages go through periods of
difficulty and emerge stronger and happier than before.
If he is not willing to participate in counseling at all, he
may have already concluded that he is no longer interested
in continuing the relationship.
In my opinion, once either partner is clearly no longer in-
terested in continuing the relationship, the other partner
should honor him or herself by accepting the decision.
Whether your husband’s reason for making this decision
is that he believes that the two of you have nothing in
common or that he may be having issues apart from your
marriage, my suggestion to you would be: prioritize your
own well-being.
If your husband is not willing to continue working on your
relationship, try your best not to spend your energy and
time on why he has made his decision or what may be re-
sponsible for his decision. This is easier said than done,
especially given the many of us tend to crave closure, but
it is worth the considerable effort required to let go.
I encourage you, instead, to focus your time and energy on
self-healing, including tapping into the energies of your
support system.
Best wishes to you during this challenging time.
QUESTION
My Spouse Wants A Divorce - But Gives No
Reason - Should I Hold On?
I’ve been married for almost seven years.
The two of us met while in college, fell in love
and then married. We don’t have kids. Now
my husband wants a divorce. When I ask him
for a reason, he just says we have nothing in
common. I believe that my husband is dealing
with other unrelated issues and unfairly taking
it out on our marriage. We’re currently
separated. When do I know that it’s time to let
him go? Should I hold on and hope that
Jasbina Ahluwalia
is an Indian-
American attorney turned entrepre-
neur, Relationship Expert, Radio
Show Host and Matchmaker /
Dating Coach. She is the Founder /
President of Intersections Match,
the only Elite
Personalized
Matchmaking & Dating Coaching
Firm in the country serving Selec-
tive Singles of South Asian descent Nationwide in the U.S.
She is also the host of Intersections Talk Radio, a monthly
holistic lifestyle show featuring conversations with published
authors/experts on relationships, health & wellness. Feel free
to submit a Question to be considered for this column to
Jasbina directly at
Jasbina@IntersectionsMatch.com. For
info, please visit www.IntersectionsMatch.com
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